[Humor] How did you break your arm?

[Mary Ann Horton]

From: "VICKI CHAPMAN" (Courtesy Yucks)

Even if you aren't a skier, you'll be able to
appreciate the humor of the slopes as written by a New Orleans
paper:

A friend just got back from a holiday skiing trip to
Utah with the kind of story that warms the cockles of anybody's
heart.

Conditions were perfect...12 below, no feeling in the
toes, basic numbness all over...the "Tell me when we're having fun"
kind of day.

One of the women in the group complained to her husband
that she was in dire need of a rest room. He told her not to worry,
that he was sure there was relief waiting at the top of the lift in
the form of a powder room for female skiers in distress. He was
wrong, of course, and the pain did not go away.

If you've ever had nature hit its panic button in you, then you
know that a temperature of 12 below doesn't help
matters. With time running out, the woman weighed her options. Her
husband, picking up on the intensity of the pain, suggested that
since she was wearing an all-white ski outfit, she should go off in
the woods and no one would even notice. He assured her, "The white
will provide more than adequate camouflage."

So she headed for the tree line, began lowering her ski pants and
proceeded to do her thing.

If you've ever parked on the side of a slope, then you
know there is a right way and wrong way to set your skis so you
don't move. Yup, you got it!!! She had them positioned the wrong
way. Steep slopes are not forgiving...even during the most
embarrassing moments.

Without warning, the woman found herself skiing backward,
out-of-control, racing through the trees...somehow missing all of
them and onto another slope. Her derriere and the reverse side were
still bare, her pants down around her knees, and she was picking up
speed all the while.
She continued backwards, totally out-of-control, creating an
unusual vista for the other skiers. The woman skied back under the
lift and finally collided violently with a pylon.

The bad news was that she broke her arm and was unable to pull up
her ski pants. At long last her husband
arrived, putting an end to her nudie show, then summoned the ski
patrol. They transported her to a hospital.

While in the emergency room, a man with an obviously
broken leg was put in the bed next to hers. "So, how'd you break
your leg, she asked, making small talk.

"It was the darndest thing I ever saw", he said. "I was riding up
this ski lift and suddenly, I couldn't believe my eyes! There was
this crazy woman skiing backward, out-of-control, down the
mountain, with her bare bottom hanging out of her pants. I leaned
over to get a better look and fell out of the lift."

......"So, how'd you break your arm?"