[Humor] Men Are Just Happier People

[Mary Ann Horton]

Mostly true, amazingly.

From: Lou Pellegrino (Courtesy of Yucks)

What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays  
put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of  themselves. 
Chocolate is just another snack.  You can be President.  You can never 
be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water  park. You can wear 
NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you  the truth.

The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas  
station rest-room because this one is just too icky. You don't have  to 
stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work,  more 
pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress~$5000. Tux rental~ $100. 
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.  The 
occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New  shoes don't 
cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the  time. Phone 
conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know  stuff about tanks.

  A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all  your 
own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of  thoughtfulness. 
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can  still be your friend. 
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.  Three pairs of shoes are more 
than enough. You almost never have  strap problems in public. You are 
unable to see wrinkles in your  clothes.

  Everything on your face stays its original color. The same  hairstyle 
lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave  your face and 
neck.  You can play with toys all your life. Your  belly usually hides 
your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes  one color for all 
seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your  legs look. You can "do" 
your nails with a pocket knife. You have  freedom of choice concerning 
growing a mustache. You can do  Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on 
December 24 in 25 minutes.

  No wonder men are happier. Send this to the women who can handle  it 
and to the men who will enjoy reading it.