[Humor] American Management Today - Idiots?

[Mary Ann Horton]

Sue passes this one along

 */American Management Today - Idiots?/*
[]
*
A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking 
for people to submit quotes from their real-life 
Dilbert-comic-strip-type managers. These were voted the top ten quotes 
from the managers we work for in corporate America, circa 2004:*

[]*"**As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building 
using individual security cards.** **Pictures will be taken next 
Wednesday, and employees will receive their cards in two weeks."  *

*/(This was the winning quote from Fred Dales, Microsoft Corp. in 
Redmond WA)/*

[]*"**What I need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we might 
encounter."  **/(Lykes Lines Shipping)/*

[]*"**E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should 
be used only for company business."  **/(Accounting manager, Electric 
Boat Company)/*

[]"*This project is so important we can't let things that are more 
important interfere with it."  **/(Advertising/Marketing manager, United 
Parcel Service)/*

[]*"**Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule/." /*

*/(Plant Manager, Delco Corporation)/*

[]*"**No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been 
working on it for months.  Now go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let 
you know when it's time to tell them."  *

*/(R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing/3M Corp.)/*

[]*Quote from the Boss: "Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I 
say."** /(Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)/*

[]*My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When 
I told my Boss, he said she died on purpose so that I would have to miss 
work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change 
her burial to Friday. He said, /"That would be better for me."/  *

*/(Shipping executive, FTD Florists)/*

[]*"**We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not 
going to discuss it with the employees."   *

*/(Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines Division)/*


[]


  	  	 


 

 


	
	




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