[Humor] Democrat Way of Thinking

[Mary Ann Horton]

Vote on Tuesday!

Things You Have To Believe To Be a Democrat
by Jay D. Dyson

1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of  federal 
funding.

2. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th  
graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids  about 
sex.

3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding  Americans 
are more of a threat than US nuclear weapons technology  in the hands of 
Chinese communists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected  by 
cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more  affected 
by yuppies driving SUVs.

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being  
homosexual is natural.

7. You have to be against capital punishment but support abortion  on 
demand.

8. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and  
governments create prosperity.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but  loony 
activists who've never been outside of Seattle do.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than  
actually doing something to earn it.

11. You have to believe the military, not corrupt politicians,  start wars.

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain  
parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it  supports 
certain parts of the Constitution.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are  too high.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are  
more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General  
Robert E. Lee or Thomas Edison.

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but  racial 
quotas and set-asides aren't.

16. You have to believe Hillary Clinton really stands for something.

17. You have to believe that the only reason communism hasn't  worked 
anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't  been in 
charge.

18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in  jail, 
but a liar and sex offender belongs in the White House.

19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag,  
transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected  and 
manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by  the 
Chinese is somehow in the best interest of the United States.

21. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't  worked 
anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't  been in 
charge.

22. You have to believe that homosexual parades should be  
constitutionally protected and manger scenes at Christmas should be  
illegal.

23. You have to believe that gasoline priced at $1.59 per gallon is  too 
expensive but accept bottled spring water at $1.09 per quart as  
reasonable.

24. You have to believe the purpose of government is to take money  from 
people who earned it and spend it on people who did not earn it.

25. You have to believe that people who disagree with you are  stupid 
and backward while believing people who agree with you are  
"progressive" and "enlightened."

26. You have to believe that a "B" average economics major from  Yale 
University with a MBA from Harvard Business School is too  stupid to be 
President of the United States.

27. You have to believe that a "C" average history major from  Harvard 
University, dropout from Vanderbilt Law School and failure  at 
Vanderbilt Divinity School is brilliant and should be President  of the 
United States.

28. You are proud to have Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, and Bill  Clinton 
in the Democratic Party.